'Back to life, back to reality.....'

This is so great! As you can see from my last post it's been a while since I visited my blog. Life is starting to take on the old pattern of busy, busy, busy. Trouble is when we're so busy we not only have no time to 'smell the coffee' we don't even get a chance to make it!

I didn't realise until I switched on my laptop, sitting up in bed this morning (one of my favourite places to write) and looked out at the beautiful blue sky, how much I'd missed this. I get terrific satisfaction in waking up gradually, making a cuppa and coming back to bed. In not starting the day in a flurry of activity. I like starting my day slowly, quietly, allowing my body and brain to gradually rise from the depths of sleep and greet the day refreshed, renewed and ready for whatever adventure today is going to bring.

Morning is also the best time (for me anyway) to re-charge my spiritual batteries. Yesterday I got engrossed in 'Gone with the Wind' and thought 'I'll do my bible reading tonight and spend time then talking to God'. Well, needless to say by the time I got to bed (having done 2 hours of my computer course until 9pm) it was a quick prayer and my bible stayed in the bedside drawer! No - morning is definitely the best time for prayer and reading. It also sets me up for the day - like any relationship 2 way communication is vital to a Christian so it's hardly surprising if I spend all my time rushing here, there and everywhere, however worthy the activity, I'm not going to have time to chat to God and I'm certainly not going to hear what he has to say to me!

Talking of 'Gone with the Wind' - it's a fantastic novel. Like most people I've seen the film several times but I always find books so much more satisfying. My imagination puts me right in the heart of the action and I often find myself identifying with aspects of the characters personalities. I have great admiration for authors of such talent and wonder if one day I'll see some of my efforts in print.

When I got the 'writing bug' last year at first I thought 'Yeah, right - I've never written anything of note until now, what makes me think anyone will want to read what I've got to say'. But the desire was so persistent I decided to 'go with the flow'. Then this morning I read about a man who was asked 'Do you play the violin?' he replied 'I don't know, I've never tried!'

That's how I feel about my writing - I don't know if I'm any good at it but until I try I'm just someone who wants to write. At least now if someone asks me 'Do you write?' I can answer 'Yes' - even if the only published work I can lay claim to so far is this blog and the strap line on the back of a CD cover!

Yes - this is one of my great pleasures. Sitting up in my very comfy bed, listening to the gradual swell of traffic past my window as my neighbours start their day. Wondering if the weather will stay sunny and warm or if the weather forecasters have got it right and we're in for yet another wet July day (ahhh - the British summer!). Deciding if I want another cuppa and would it be very decadent to have breakfast in bed as well? Decisions, decisions - think I'll definitely have another cuppa at least...................................

Friends and Flowers

I've just been reading my last blog entry and realised it sounds a bit cheesy. It wasn't intentional, just meant to be an honest reflection of where I am in my relationship with God the father. Like a lot of people I've had a rather on/off relationship with God over the years but I know I'm more contented now than I've ever been. Now, that's got nothing to do with my personal cirumstances as I'm divorced, skint, live on my own and currently unemployed! But I have found a new level of faith that as given me a completely fresh outlook on life, a desire to help and encourage others and a contentment I've never known before. And I found out this week people who have a faith on average live 7 years longer than those who don't - bonus!

Another thing I have is fantastic friends. One of the things about living on your own is you miss those little treats someone gives you. The cup of tea in bed, doing the washing up, the foot massage while watching the tele (That's one of things I missed most when my husband left!). When I stayed at a friends house one night, the next morning, even though she was rushing around getting ready to go to work, she took the time to prepare this breakfast tray for me. I was so touched I took a picture!

Above are some lovely flowers another friend bought me this week. I'm very fortunate and have a lot of amazing friends which I thank God for.

Letter in the post

I can't believe it's been nearly a week since I started this blog. Time really does fly when you're having fun (or not as the case may be!). I've just been spending time adding pictures and other info to this blog.

I've always enjoyed learning but I'm what I call a practical learner. I've never been one for sitting in class (couldn't bear the thought of going to university and attending lectures), never read the instructions, and am always impatient when someone is trying to show me how to do something. Impatient and curious would be a good way of describing my approach to learning; so fiddling around with fonts, colours, pictures and links is my idea of fun. I've got a laptop which is rapidly becoming as attached to me as my mobile 'phone! It feels weird when it's turned off, as if I'm going to miss something important. Fortunately I love the company of people as well so don't shut myself away in seclusion just inhabiting some surreal virtual world because I can't cope with the real one!

Talking of the real world I received a letter this week which was not unnexpected. Having been on Incapacity Benefit for 8 months (serious illness, long recovery) the powers that be have decided I no longer qualify. Ok - fair enough, I am a lot better and have been thinking myself about doing some part time paid work. Like most people I don't like being on benefits (despite the view of some I believe many people genuinely would like to be paying their own way) but have little option. So as I said, the letter wasn't unnexpected, but what came as a bit of a shock was the letter was dated 4th June and the benefit stopped as of 3rd! OK - so now what what do I do?

I sort of expected some notice (naively as it turned out!) but that's obviously not the way it's done. I duly went off to the Jobcentre and signed on for jobseekers allowance but still find it hard to believe one minute I'm receiving IB and the next I'm having to agree to look for jobs up to 40 hours a week and be prepared to travel 90 mins to work on public transport! If I had been working for an employer after that length of time off a phased return to work would have almost certainly been offered. I've never been out of work for long and I know there are many, many people out there in a much worse situation than me but at least this experience will make me a little more sympathetic to those looking for work and having to rely on the government.

There have been things over the past couple of weeks which could have really got me down. I'm not saying I don't get fed up or even upset at times (just ask my friend who's shoulder I was sobbing all over last week!) but I have a best friend I try and spend time with every day. I usually wake fairly early so get up and make a cuppa then go back to bed. I talk to him, think about him, and read his book. I've known him for many years but only recently feel as if I've really met him. Sometimes when I'm feeling worried, low or just need a hug, I feel him sit on the side of the bed and put his arm round me - I can then close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. I'll share more with you about my friend as time goes on but for now I'll just tell you his name - you may even have heard of him. He's called Jesus.

God Bless - Jules x

First post!

This is so exciting - and just a bit scary too. I've been writing a diary (of sorts) for about 6 months now but never created a blog before. I'm wondering who's going to read it, what they'll think, what they might say! Of course, I might not get any reaction, so - we'll just have to wait and see!


Firstly an explanation. Why 'Musings from under the Duvet?' That's where I first started writing my diary and other thoughts (more about those later). The ceilings in my flat are very high and I've got a big Georgian window in my bedroom which lets in a lot of natural light. I tend to wake quite early (I still think my mother doesn't believe I'm up making a cuppa at 6.30 on the morning!) as there's no curtain at the window (I'm on the third floor and don't think the pigeons mind me wandering around in my underwear). I get my tea (earl grey) and get back under the duvet, plug in my laptop and start hitting the keys. The end result is hopefully at least readable and on a good day quite inspired (in my opinion anyway!). I felt the desire to write about 8 months ago whilst going through a serious illness. That desire is just getting stronger so hence this offering. This morning was just too beautiful to spend in bed so I grabbed a jam sandwhich for breakfast, threw on some clothes and headed for one of my favourite local spots.

Having spent the good part of the morning sitting in my new fold away canvas chair by the lake, with my laptop plugged into the car cigarette lighter (glad it's useful for something) I feel this overwhelming desire to just get my thoughts down. It does mean however I'm not actually getting any work done,which is what I turned on my laptop to do, so I'm going to finish this now and get on with something else.